last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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