just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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