How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
