yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
