Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
