Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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