Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
