You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
