I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He did a backflip because drugs
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
