I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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