I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
