You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
