i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
