Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We're too hungover to prance.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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