They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
