I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
