I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
