My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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