I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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