he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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