I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
