There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
