I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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