physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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