I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
