Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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