my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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