she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
