It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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