help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
