I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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