false alarm. still invincible.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
