you have to choose: penises or morals?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
