i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
