yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
