He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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