My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
