I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
