your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
