I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
being pregnant is like rehab
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I think i got beer on your cat.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize