I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
