i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
