I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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