Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
