I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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