I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
