you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
