The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
