The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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