You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
you never un-have a 4some
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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