Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
do nipples grow back?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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