You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
